What are you on?






...you can't talk about bipolar without talking about meds-
aka "medication" to the normal of the world. if you're bipolar,
there's two ways of hitting it: you're on meds, or you're off them,
for whatever reason- personal choice, poverty or what have you...




meds are a big part of the bipolar planet. there's deciding
whether or not you even want to take them. there's the inevitable
process of trying one out, then another and another until, with luck,
you find one or a combination thereof that lets you get
through the day to day and maybe more.



i'm on these
i'm on these





bipolar people talk about meds the way most people talk
about the weather. once you're "out" to each other,
it usually comes up pretty quickly- what have you tried,
what are you on, how's that working for you.








i had to try about five different things before a combo
was found that worked for me... and frankly, i feel lucky.
i had a partner who understood and helped, she turned me
on to a practitioner who really listened and knew a lot.

i also had no issues about the idea of taking medication.
in my younger years, i read a lot about altered states and
explored a variety of those possibilities.

when i was diagnosed, it struck me that regardless of these
experiences, i had been living in an "altered state" for some
time anyway... and being bipolar, i would be living in
an "altered state" by most people's standards for
the rest of my life anyway.

ergo, the idea of adding one or more medications to that
reality was a non-issue. altered is altered - the question
becomes, and remains: altered better, or altered worse?










i have friends, though, for whom this seemed to be a much
more profound question... people who clearly were having "issues",
but who found the idea of being on medication a terrible one.
completely unacceptable. it made me sad.










it made me sad because i have lived with meds and lived
without them... and for me, with them is better. without them,
i'd probably be dead.


and seeing people i cared about suffering when that suffering
did not need to be so profound made me sad.



the decision to take medication is a personal choice.
it's political. it's economic. it's even social, because one
has to think about the effect one's behaviour has on one's
family, friends, co-workers, team mates...







you make your choices, and you take your chances.

i'd never say meds are the only way, and everyone should be
on them. i can only speak to what i think is right for me,
and what seems to be better these days and not worse...



if you're newly diagnosed, or new to the wide world of meds,
or care about someone who's on them, this is a site you might
want to take a look at...

it's written by fellow travelers, one in particular, and it tells
it like it is in language that makes a lot more sense to me
than any official hand-outs or sites. drug by drug-
what can it do, what are the side-effects, it's a very good start
on all the things you want and need to know.







it's not a one stop shop- no place is - but it's one of the good ones.

it's not fancy, it's not pretty, just plain-spoken and sincere.
there's even places to ask questions and get useful answers.











*

sometimes day to day




i take a lot of walks.






alien crossing ahead



i take a lot of pictures too.














just another dumpster




a correspondence, not a coincidence.





like silence




i think better when i walk.





at the ottawa train station





...but sometimes, i don't feel like thinking.




le bureau de deux cones




i don't think much when i take pictures.
i try to pay attention.





square one sign





see it. catch it. move on.





tiny dancer





i can't tell you street names,
but i can take you to the spot
where i took a picture.





the view from the bus stop



mapping, and memory.







*

More than 50 ways to say "You're nuts"









a beer short of a six pack
a bit lacking upstairs
a brick short of a load

a couple of eggs shy of a dozen
a couple of gallons short of a full tank
a couple of pies short of a grand final


a few ants short of a picnic
a few beers short of a six-pack
a few bricks short of a pile
a few bricks short of a wall
a few cards short of a deck
a few clowns short of a circus.
a few feathers short of a whole duck
a few fish short of a hatstand
a few peas short of a casserole
a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket
a few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce
a few trucks short of a convoy










a fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
a fried chicken short of a church picnic
a little light in the belfry
a pepperoni short of a pizza
a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
a sandwich short of a picnic
a trifle short of custard

about as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
about as useful as a chocolate fireguard

an experiment in Artificial Stupidity

are you mental?
are you nuts?

around the bend

as daft as a brush
As mad as a box of frogs
as mad as a hatter












away with the faeries


basket case
bats in the belfry
bat shit crazy
booby-shooby



crazier than a shit house rat
crazier than a sprayed roach

crazy about you
crazy as a loon
crazy as a piss ant
crazy as a sack full of ferrets
crazy in the head
crazy like a fox














doesn't have both oars in the water
doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box
doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
doesn’t have all the dots on his dice
donated his body to science before he was done using it



elevator don’t quite make the top floor
escaped from an asylum


fell out of the family tree
flip city
flip in the head
flipped his lid
forgot to pay his brain bill
four quarters short of a dollar

full tilt bozo














goes surfing in Nebraska
   
gone haywire
gone in the head

got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching
got kangaroos in the top paddock
got the screaming-meemies













he flipped his lid
he has delusions of adequacy.
he hasn't got both hands on the wheel
he played too much without a helmet

he’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal
he ain't wrapped too tight
he's got a big hole in his screen door
he’s got a leak in his think-tank
he’s got a mind like a steel sieve
he’s got his feet firmly planted 3 feet above the ground
he's half a bubble off plum
he's lost his marbles
he's lost lost his mind
he's not all there
he's not right













his belt doesn’t go through all the loops
His boots are not laced all the way to the top
his bread ain't baked
his cheese has slipped off his cracker
his golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons
his porch light ain’t on
his receiver is off the hook


in a world of his own
in the happy club
in the ozone
insane in the membrane
isn't  firing on all thrusters
it's hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm











living in the rubber room
loco en la cabeza
loony
loony toony and oofty mcgoofty
Loopy
lost the plot

mad as a hatter
mad as a March hare
Mad as a monkey on a trike


needs a few screws tightened

no-one upstairs











not firing with all spark plugs
not firing on all 6 cylinders
not right in the head
not wrapped too tight
not the full shilling
not the sharpest knife in the drawer

nuttier than squirrel turds
nutty as a fruitcake


of unsound mind











off his head
off his nut
off his rocker
off his trolley
off it
off the wall
off the deep end










on/off switch is broken in the off position

one apple short of a fruit basket
one brick short of a load
one fry short of a happy meal
one Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
one neuron short of a synapse
one oar in the water
one slice short of a loaf
one stubbie short of a six pack
one taco short of a combination plate
one turbine short of an airplane
One wave short of a shipwreck

only 50 cards in the deck


out of his gourd
out of his head
out of one's mind
out of one's skull
out of whack
out of your tree (and running loose in the park)

out to lunch
over the edge













plumb loco


rowing with only one oar in the water
running about a quart low
running on empty


screw loose

she flipped out
she knits with one needle
she’s not tied too tight to the pier
She suffers from Clue Deficit Disorder.
she's taken leave of her senses












sick in the head

strait Jacket owner
suffering from a marble deficiency

take leave of one's senses
ten pence short of a pound

the cheese slid off her cracker
the elevator is stuck between floors
the engines runnin',but there ain't anybody drivin'
the lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn't coming
the lights are on, but nobody is home.
the engineer of the coo coo cachoo
the wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead

there are no phones on planet Pluto
they must be off their meds

two hub caps short of a Buick

was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby
wired to the moon


you need your head examined











stigma?

hmmmm... hard to say.







.



Hunter S. Thompson on 'crazy'










*

Having Fun for No Money!








I'm not nearly as 2.0 as I should be...
but I am a sucker for generators.
Generators are these web gizmos that let you
add your own words to make a thing- like a street
sign, or a church sign or what have you...


The latest one
I've come across lets you type
in a word which it then sloganizes for you -ie - fits
your word into an old advertising slogan.

First, I tried the word 'bipolar', because it's one
of those words that only seems to get used
in such a serious way all the the time.


Here's what this generator
came up with...

















Next, I tried the word 'stupid' because that's
what today feels like, and the generator
responded with...




















...so if you're having a stupid day,
or any other kind of day, or are stuck
on hold, you might want to head over
to ...

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=stupid


What the hell...it made me giggle...





-30-





.


a walk in the city






last weekend i went to a meeting in toronto.
i was there for 24 hours.








i was planning to stay longer,
but after 24 hours, i was very happy to be

on a bus headed north.








the visual stimulation was overwhelming
and the soundscape was very intense.
it felt like my brain was undergoing acupuncture
therapy by unhappy practitioners.










it struck me that i take pictures of environments
like this to simplify them to a level
my thoughts can process...
maybe even see beauty where my first reaction
is one of profound alienation.



 




up north, people on the street expect you to say hi.
there, the only people on the street i talked to
were people who live there.




 




i think it's why i like to see street art so much.




 




it makes the city seem less lonely.




-30-




Normal? right...









..."this" meaning the world we live in....






*


Bipolar and I...

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