Normal-or-whatever 2

normal.


what the hell is up with that?


this question has haunted me most of my life. as a child,
and as an adult, i never quite "got it" and since i was diagnosed
as bipolar some years back, my "issues" with "normal"
seem to be growing.

to me, "normal" is a word people use way too freely.

am i the only one who finds this word loaded?
loaded like a gun?

some aspects of "normal" i get.

i understand that it is good, for example, to have "a normal
white blood cell count". i appreciate that one wants to look
at ones' feces and urine and feel like "hey, that's normal".

when it comes to things are objective, in the sense of
the physical world, "normal" can often be a good thing,
making ones' life and the world at large more understandable
and perhaps a safer place.


but when it comes to attitudes, to perceptions,
to behaviours... "normal" gets "weird".

normal stools

normal  (adjective)
Definition: common, usual

Synonyms: accustomed, acknowledged, average, commonplace, conventional, customary, general, habitual, mean, median, methodical, natural, orderly, ordinary, popular, prevalent,
regular, routine, run-of-the-mill, standard, traditional, typic, typical, unexceptional

Antonyms: abnormal, irregular, odd, strange, uncommon, unconventional, unusual

normal appendix

What is the Definition of Normal?

Normal is the state of being mentally and physically healthy
or conforming to a standard that is regarded as customary,
typical or expected.
It may also refer to a line that intersects a surface
at a right angle.

normal normal
normal

What is a Normal Person

The word normal typically is defined as a behavior
conforming with or constituting a norm or standard
or level or type or social norm.

So by this definition a normal person would be considered
an individual who conforms to societal norms and standards.

So typically a society will decide if a person is normal
by whether or not they follow the rules that that given
society uses to determine what is appropriate and
inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors.

For example when a person decides to enter a sport
that is not traditionally competed in by his or her sex,
they are viewed as abnormal. Each society will set
their own definition for what is a normal person.

the normal model

normal

2a : according with, constituting, or not deviating
from a norm, rule, or principle
2b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
3 : occurring naturally
4a : of, relating to, or characterized by average intelligence
or development
4b : free from mental disorder : sane

Examples of NORMAL
    He had a normal childhood.
    These little setbacks are a normal part of life.
    a potato twice as big as normal size
    Despite her illness, she was able to lead a normal life.
    They had a normal, healthy baby.
    Normal people don't react that way.

Related to NORMAL
Synonyms: average, common, commonplace, cut-and-dried,
everyday, garden-variety, ordinary, prosaic, routine, run-of-the-mill, standard, standard-issue, unexceptional, unremarkable, usual, workaday

Antonyms: abnormal, exceptional, extraordinary, odd,
out-of-the-way, strange, unusual

normal urine

so to be "normal" then is to be....

average
conventional
ordinary
regular,
conforming
not deviating
unremarkable

is that how YOU see yourself?
is that how you WANT to see yourself?

is that who YOU want to be?

the normal curve

not me. not when i was a kid. not now.

not ever.

normal tongues

but above and beyond my visceral personal reaction
to these (also loaded) words, with their dreary,
suffocating and - to me at least - political implications...


is ordinary, conventional thinking what our society needs
to deal with the challenges that face us all- locally?
nationally?
globally?


don't the challenges we face, from climate change to poverty
to disease to racism, need to be looked at in new ways?
isn't it possible that any steps towards dealing with them might require require unconventional or even exceptional thinking?


haven't a lot of these challenges arisen from,
or been made much, much worse
by conventional thinking?


just sayin'...



to be continued...

!

Who's crazy?

Stockbrokers. In a bad way.

i knew it!
...which i guess means i'm not actually paranoid.



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Bipolar Alienation?

the Electric Violin    dugg simpson 11/12

i used to be Somebody.


in a small but vital corner of the music business, i was someone
who could Make A Difference in the careers of Artists. every day, all kinds of people would send me emails and call me on the phone. they would seek me out in bars, stalk me in hotel lobbies at conferences and hang on my every word whenever i spoke.

they weren't just sucking up. they weren't hustling me
or god forbid, blowing smoke up my ass. no.

we were a Community, and in that Community, i had a lot
of friends. if i'd been on Facebook then, Friend-wise i coulda
been well into four figures.




now, i'm Nobody.



i'm of No Possible Use to anyone's career. i can't pay for anyone's plane tickets to Vancouver, or pay them money to do what they do, or present them to an audience that will buy their CDs or their key-chains or t-shirts or whatever else they might be selling.

the phone hardly ever rings anymore, and if it does, it's not for me. i get maybe one email a month. nobody notices when i walk into a room... or if i don't. and while i am a devoted blogger on a variety to themes including music, only a precious few people seem to notice if i do... or if i don't, let alone hang on my every word.

one day, i was an Important Member of a Community
and the next day i was Nobody.

c'est la vie.

que sera, sera. 


so it goes.





http://soundseen.blogspot.ca/

http://ratsinthebelfry.blogspot.com/

http://flickrhivemind.net/User/dmixo6




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Hunter S. Thompson - bipolar, maybe?

Was Hunter S. Thompson bipolar?


Maybe.

It could be i'm just projecting. Ever since Fear and Loathing
in Las Vegas blew the top of my head off as an impressionable adolescent, i've admired his spirit, curiousity, courage and ability to articulate the distemper of the times we were living in,
or trying to live thru...

Long before i was diagnosed, his manic spells and the darkness
of depression as well as his abiding interest in self-medicating
were more than clear- they were splattered across the pages
of everything he wrote, as though it was all written in blood,
cut with tears of rage and sorrow.

Whenever i'd find myself among people trashing America,
he would be something i'd throw back at them, as in
   "What? You don't like barbeque? You don't like jazz?
    You don't like Hunter S.?" 


As time went on, there was more and more darkness in
what he saw, and his decision to end his life could also
be one more sign that there were more bad chemicals
than good ones in his synapses, in that bipolar way.


In the end, a diagnosis one way or the other of the good
doctor doesn't much matter nearly as much as the passion
and insight he brought to his life and his work.

Forty years later, he still inspires me to keep going
and as Bruce Cockburn sang,
       "to kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight".








in his own words...



"We are turning into a nation of whimpering slaves to Fear—
fear of war, fear of poverty, fear of random terrorism, fear of getting down-sized or fired because of the plunging economy,
fear of getting evicted for bad debts or suddenly getting
locked up in a military detention camp on vague charges
of being a Terrorist sympathizer."

       —"Extreme Behavior in Aspen," February 3, 2003






       "What is the desired effect?"


             *


"We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled the 60's. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip.
He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion"
without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook
realities that were lying in wait for all the people
who took him seriously...









“I’ve always considered writing the most hateful kind of work.
I suspect it’s a bit like fucking, which is only fun for amateurs.
Old whores don’t do much giggling.”


             *

"There are times, however, and this is one of them, when even being right feels wrong. What do you say, for instance, about
a generation that has been taught that rain is poison
and sex is death?

If making love might be fatal and if a cool spring breeze
on any summer afternoon can turn a crystal blue lake into
a puddle of black poison right in front of your eyes, there
is not much left except TV and relentless masturbation.

It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others
eat shit and die."

       —Gonzo Papers, Vol. 2: Generation of Swine: Tales of Shame
          and Degradation in the '80s







     "Just sick enough to be totally confident"



             *


"In a closed society where everybody's guilty,
the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves,
the only final sin is stupidity."










“I have in recent months come to have a certain feeling
for Joe Hill and the Wobbly* crowd who, if nothing else,
had the right idea. But not the rights mechanics.
I believe the IWW was probably the last human concept
in American politics”.

* the International Workers of the World








 "It would be easy to say that we owe it all to the Bush family
from Texas, but that would be too simplistic. They are only
errand boys for the vengeful, bloodthirsty cartel of raving
Jesus-freaks and super-rich money mongers who have ruled
for at least the last 20 years, and arguably the last 200 years.
They take orders well, and they don't ask too many questions.

The real power in America is held by a fast-emerging new Oligarchy
of pimps and preachers who see no need for Democracy or fairness
or even trees, except maybe the ones in their own yards,
and they don't mind admitting it.

They worship money and power and death. Their ideal solution
to all the nation's problems would be another 100 Year War.

Coming of age in a fascist police state will not be a barrel
of fun for anybody, much less for people like me, who are
not inclined to suffer Nazis gladly and feel only contempt
for the cowardly flag-suckers who would gladly give up
their outdated freedom to live for the mess of pottage
they have been conned into believing will be freedom
from fear. Ho ho ho.

Let's not get carried away here. Freedom was yesterday
in this country. Its value has been discontinued. The only
freedom we truly crave today is freedom from Dumbness.
Nothing else matters."









         "buy the ticket...take the ride"





and his final words...

 "No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking.
No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50.
17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring.
I am always bitchy. No Fun -- for anybody. 67.
You are getting Greedy. Act your old age.
Relax -- This won't hurt."







   Hunter Stockton Thompson
            July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005
             American journalist and author



learn more about his life at this exceptional site:
Hunter S. Thompson


what did this champion have for breakfast?
Hunter S. Thompson's Very Gonzo Breakfast Habits





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Two types of Depression

    Many people who aren't bipolar seem to think
    that bipolar depression is the same as theirs...
      i beg to differ.








!

Just Say No... to Caffeine!

Every time i hear some pinhead parroting Nancy Reagan's
trite, useless little mantra "Just say no to drugs",
the first thing i think of is all the young new moderns
packing out the Starbucks and the line-ups of SUVs,
cars and trucks idling their engines at the Tim's
on the edge of town, conjuring memories
of when i had a studio just down the street
from a methadone clinic.









You want an idea for a horror movie?

Open it with CNN breaking the news that some plant virus
has killed all the coffee trees on the planet...
and that there is only a week's worth of coffee left
on the planet.

Then we all watch the fun as drug addicts all over Europe,
the US and Canada go through withdrawal.





???

"Normal"? ...whatever

i know there are many people with bp who suffer
from it more than i do, and that i was born lucky
in terms of my family, and was fortunate to get
to see such an excellent specialist for my diagnosis
and the process of finding suitable meds...

but i think was also fortunate enough/ immature
enough/ whatever enough to have consciously
decided decades before i was diagnosed that
"normal", on its' best day, was wildly over-rated.

"normal" to me was high school- a place i regarded
as a concentration camp of the mind, an institution
full of stupid rules and bullies of every age and size,
seething with ignorance, petty jealousies and fear.

"normal" was what i encountered working my way
through school as a janitor, and the major
corporations i worked for before deciding
to create my own life.


above - ye olde belle curve




"normal" people started wars. "normal" people
thought being rich was a reason for living. they
didn't like anything that threatened their desperate
need for certainties. they were afraid of grappling
with serious questions about the fundamental
assumptions that propped up their world view.

they were afraid of the edge. they were afraid
of death. they were afraid of themselves, ultimately.

i remember many years ago, talking with a friend
one night on acid when he said "you know man,
you're never out of high school" and it was chilling -
in the way that only a profound revelation that
resonates in your bones can be...






above - normal tonsils



he was right. since then i've heard the same basic
premise from others but more importantly, i've
seen the proof of it over and over and over again.

and as i've learned more about my own diagnosis,
i've also learned that many of my heroes and heroines
over the years in the arts and sciences and politics
have also struggled with depression and bipolar
disorder and host of other mental illnesses while
they were creating work that touched my soul
and changed the world in ways large and small...

from them, and from friends and others along the way
over the years, i've developed what i think of
as a healthy disrespect for "normal"...

but of course, i'm "mentally ill". i'm "crazy".
i'm "manic depressive". i'm the one on medication.




whatever...





below - penis/normal & not









one side effect of my bad attitude though has been
the disarming of the "normal", in the sense that
i don't give the word or the people who identify
with the power to hurt me anymore, and i certainly
don't think they are in any way "better" than i am,
in any sense of the word.

their words are just that - words, that i can listen to
without endangering myself, keeping what seems
reasonable or that resonates with me and
disregarding what doesn't.

i reject most of their attitudes and especially their
judgements about mental people out of hand.
in 99% of the occasions i encounter them,
they are out-dated, ill-informed, demi-literate
and self-serving. when most people who think
they are "normal" talk about mental illness,
their first priority is to distance the term,
the possibility from themselves...









above - stools/normal & not




we the diagnosed don't have that option.
we HAVE to face those "possibilities" and we have
to internalize them, incorporate them into our
sense of self and carry on. every day.
every night.

i think it accounts for the openness and honesty
that draws me back to this site so often. and if
today i am more upset about it than i usually allow myself to be, it's because i keep encountering people
who have been and are being effectively tormented
by "normal" people, including those like friends
and family from whom they have reason
to expect something better...

or at least that they would not make it worse.

whatever.

i'm not normal. i never was normal and i've never
wanted to be normal. and if that's why i'm the one
on medication, fine.

the beat goes on...

"Normal"?  ...whatever part 2





LEARN MORE ABOUT BEING NORMAL




http://curvebank.calstatela.edu/gaussdist/gaussdist.htm


http://www.trojancondoms.org/index.php/average-penis-size-with-survey-charts-pics-and-graphs/


http://tonsilspictures.com/normal-tonsils-pictures/


http://tomographyblog.com/2008/03/17/the-whole-brain-atlas/

http://www.scienceclarified.com/Ro-Sp/Schizophrenia.html



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