Bipolar Alienation?

the Electric Violin    dugg simpson 11/12

i used to be Somebody.

in a small but vital corner of the music business, i was someone
who could Make A Difference in the careers of Artists. every day, all kinds of people would send me emails and call me on the phone. they would seek me out in bars, stalk me in hotel lobbies at conferences and hang on my every word whenever i spoke.

they weren't just sucking up. they weren't hustling me
or god forbid, blowing smoke up my ass. no.

we were a Community, and in that Community, i had a lot
of friends. if i'd been on Facebook then, Friend-wise i coulda
been well into four figures.

now, i'm Nobody.

i'm of No Possible Use to anyone's career. i can't pay for anyone's plane tickets to Vancouver, or pay them money to do what they do, or present them to an audience that will buy their CDs or their key-chains or t-shirts or whatever else they might be selling.

the phone hardly ever rings anymore, and if it does, it's not for me. i get maybe one email a month. nobody notices when i walk into a room... or if i don't. and while i am a devoted blogger on a variety to themes including music, only a precious few people seem to notice if i do... or if i don't, let alone hang on my every word.

one day, i was an Important Member of a Community
and the next day i was Nobody.

c'est la vie.

que sera, sera. 

so it goes.



  1. That's an interesting delusion you're nurturing. Not that anyone can blame you for identifying yourself as "the man" with that position. It was definitely a cool gig. But that isn't WHO you were... it was a job you did.

    You're holding on to exactly the opposite of what's actually true. You weren't someone special because you did that job. The truth is that you gave the job your specialness.

    You think you left yourself back there. That's not true either. Remember, the past [you] didn't go anywhere. You're still exactly the same special person you were then.

    You just need happier meds, big time.

  2. You were and still are someone I consider a friend. Someone I still miss. Someone I will always respect and admire. Don't underestimate the positive impact you left on people's hearts all over this country!