More than 50 ways to say "You're nuts"









a beer short of a six pack
a bit lacking upstairs
a brick short of a load

a couple of eggs shy of a dozen
a couple of gallons short of a full tank
a couple of pies short of a grand final


a few ants short of a picnic
a few beers short of a six-pack
a few bricks short of a pile
a few bricks short of a wall
a few cards short of a deck
a few clowns short of a circus.
a few feathers short of a whole duck
a few fish short of a hatstand
a few peas short of a casserole
a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket
a few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce
a few trucks short of a convoy










a fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner
a fried chicken short of a church picnic
a little light in the belfry
a pepperoni short of a pizza
a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
a sandwich short of a picnic
a trifle short of custard

about as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.
about as useful as a chocolate fireguard

an experiment in Artificial Stupidity

are you mental?
are you nuts?

around the bend

as daft as a brush
As mad as a box of frogs
as mad as a hatter












away with the faeries


basket case
bats in the belfry
bat shit crazy
booby-shooby



crazier than a shit house rat
crazier than a sprayed roach

crazy about you
crazy as a loon
crazy as a piss ant
crazy as a sack full of ferrets
crazy in the head
crazy like a fox














doesn't have both oars in the water
doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box
doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash
doesn’t have all the dots on his dice
donated his body to science before he was done using it



elevator don’t quite make the top floor
escaped from an asylum


fell out of the family tree
flip city
flip in the head
flipped his lid
forgot to pay his brain bill
four quarters short of a dollar

full tilt bozo














goes surfing in Nebraska
   
gone haywire
gone in the head

got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't watching
got kangaroos in the top paddock
got the screaming-meemies













he flipped his lid
he has delusions of adequacy.
he hasn't got both hands on the wheel
he played too much without a helmet

he’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal
he ain't wrapped too tight
he's got a big hole in his screen door
he’s got a leak in his think-tank
he’s got a mind like a steel sieve
he’s got his feet firmly planted 3 feet above the ground
he's half a bubble off plum
he's lost his marbles
he's lost lost his mind
he's not all there
he's not right













his belt doesn’t go through all the loops
His boots are not laced all the way to the top
his bread ain't baked
his cheese has slipped off his cracker
his golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons
his porch light ain’t on
his receiver is off the hook


in a world of his own
in the happy club
in the ozone
insane in the membrane
isn't  firing on all thrusters
it's hard to believe that he beat out half a billion other sperm











living in the rubber room
loco en la cabeza
loony
loony toony and oofty mcgoofty
Loopy
lost the plot

mad as a hatter
mad as a March hare
Mad as a monkey on a trike


needs a few screws tightened

no-one upstairs











not firing with all spark plugs
not firing on all 6 cylinders
not right in the head
not wrapped too tight
not the full shilling
not the sharpest knife in the drawer

nuttier than squirrel turds
nutty as a fruitcake


of unsound mind











off his head
off his nut
off his rocker
off his trolley
off it
off the wall
off the deep end










on/off switch is broken in the off position

one apple short of a fruit basket
one brick short of a load
one fry short of a happy meal
one Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
one neuron short of a synapse
one oar in the water
one slice short of a loaf
one stubbie short of a six pack
one taco short of a combination plate
one turbine short of an airplane
One wave short of a shipwreck

only 50 cards in the deck


out of his gourd
out of his head
out of one's mind
out of one's skull
out of whack
out of your tree (and running loose in the park)

out to lunch
over the edge













plumb loco


rowing with only one oar in the water
running about a quart low
running on empty


screw loose

she flipped out
she knits with one needle
she’s not tied too tight to the pier
She suffers from Clue Deficit Disorder.
she's taken leave of her senses












sick in the head

strait Jacket owner
suffering from a marble deficiency

take leave of one's senses
ten pence short of a pound

the cheese slid off her cracker
the elevator is stuck between floors
the engines runnin',but there ain't anybody drivin'
the lights are flashing, the gate is down, but the train isn't coming
the lights are on, but nobody is home.
the engineer of the coo coo cachoo
the wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead

there are no phones on planet Pluto
they must be off their meds

two hub caps short of a Buick

was left on the tilt-a-whirl too long as a baby
wired to the moon


you need your head examined











stigma?

hmmmm... hard to say.







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